Maria’s Packaged Goods & Community Bar presents…
ELECTION NIGHT BREW HA HA: THE VOTE’S ON US BATTLE ROYALE
Tuesday, November 8 PM – Free, No Cover
960 W 31st Street, Chicago, Il
Join us at Maria’s Package Goods & Community Bar on election night, Tuesday November 8, as we watch the results roll in for our “ELECTION BREW HA HA“. Starting at 8 PM, we’ll all be glued to the TV to see if either Hillary “The Shady Lady” Clinton or Donald “The Orange Crush” Trump wins this no-hold-barred, winner-take-all grudge match that we’re calling “THE VOTE’S ON US BATTLE ROYALE”.
Like the rest of the nation, we’ll be nervously watching the results during the evening. We’ll be screening the results on our video projectors that’ll bring you closer to the action as the votes get tallied. Some political pugilistic prognosticators have called this season’s contest the “Thriller Without Any Winner” yet we feel that it’ll go until the final round, late into the night with possibly neither candidate conceding defeat. You can watch as Hillary weaves from right to center and to left changing positions with the ease of a seasoned veteran as Trump jabs and flails away incoherently often relying on his famous “Rope A Dope Voter” fighting stance while shouting “Get her out of here!”. The question is, will Hillary at long last win the crown after many years of bruising political combat or will her apprentice hungry opponent capitalize on the nation’s malaise and sheer apathy and economically find a way to land a knockout punch. Only the referees of the Electoral College will decide the winner by telling the loser “You’re fired!”
While cheering on your favorite fighter you’ll also be able to quench your thirst (for compromise your ideals) with our specially made “Election Selection” cocktails. Maria’s expert mixologists and political pundits have created these powerful political potions that we hope will reflect and capture the nature and personality of those individuals who aspire and perspire for the presidency.
The Election Selection:
The Chillary – This frigid bracer has sometimes left those on the Left out in the cold since it is sometimes is served watered down and has changed its ingredients over decades of tinkering. This wine slushie (aka whine slush fund me) is concocted with Sauvignon Blanc, Peach Nectar and Suze liquor However, our bartenders have given it a new twist that is somewhat saucy yet traditional but with a bitter aftertaste that will leave you with a slight Berning sensation.
The Trump Screw You Driver – This potent potable made from vodka, turmeric simple syrup, orange juice and a turmeric-ancho pepper rim for a little bite. It has been known to bring on a rapid deterioration of normal thought processes causing confusion, hallucinations of grandeur and senseless babble. After two of these people have been known to have intense perceptual disturbances such as visions of undocumented refugees and have awoken the next day with their skin turned to a dark orange hue. This cocktail is offered in two sizes, one regular (HUGE!) and one for those with smaller hands.
The Undercard Special:
The Fernet Sanders – This gray haired pugilist/socialist has been fighting the good fight for his entire career. Know for his powerful left jab, his long-standing time in the ring has earned him many new young fans who have just recently been drawn to his tenacity and verve. His passion and skill in and outside of the ring has seen him outlast many younger opponents in his numerous political battles and scuffles. Our Fernet Sanders is made with bourbon, Letherbee Fernet, simple Syrup and Angostura bitters (especially added for those who are still bitter about the selection process).
All drinks are $9
Kimski Specials include the Grab the Bun Burger and the I Have No Choice Burger!
Maria’s: Making Cocktails Great Again!
There is no cover for the event.